*éphémère*

This morning, i woke up crying.
I felt my body awaking and I didn't want it to.
But I opened my eyes.

Do not worry too much, it's not a suicidal tendency thing.
I only just had the best dream in my life.

Being with Florence and Marie-Eve all week-end,
made me randomly mumble everything about Mana Sama
that I could relate to
(which must be the most annoying thing ever but since
both of them swore it didn't bother them and all, I kept on mumbling.)

I was there, with them.
I had a guitar in my hand, and I knew how to play.
Mana Sama was sitting in front of me, his hands and fingers picking
the strings of his guitar in the silence.
Even though it seems me and Mana would play guitar, Közi-san was there, too.
We stood up finally, when a man came to tell us something
in Japanese I seemed to understand, because I stood as well.
There were mirrors in the room, that looked like .. A make-up room.
Standing with the five of them
(the band was so weird... There was Mana Sama, Közi-san, Yu~ki, Seth and Hayato)
I saw myself in the mirror...

I remember every single detail of my outfit and make-up.
I had my fringe almost in my eyes, my hair entirely pulled back for a
huge puffy and spiky fall behind my back (close to what Mana Sama
usually has with his hair in concert now, but only at the back, more feminine)
I had a Moi-même-moitie Jacquard corset and E.G.A cutsew with see-through
long sleeves with this "lace one piece" that Mana seems to wear under
his concert outfits. I also had the most beautiful skirt and fluffly tulle train,
and the lovely jewelry that I was dreaming of...
(Skull limited edition pendant, Moi dix mois round pendant, swarorsky blue
necklace from Moitie, Coffin Ring, Iron Gate ring)
It was akward since even though Közi-san and Yu~ki were there, it was
still... "Moi dix mois" so they were all dressed
more "Dix-style" ^^

Anyway, we were dressed fantastic.
I also remember how tall I was.
With these "Mana Stomping Boots", I was taller than Seth, Hayato
and Yu~ki san, but not quite as Mana and Közi.

I looked at Mana Sama, and it seemed so normal that our eyes met.
He did a tiny smile and he said "good luck".

I saw the fans, in front of me.
I heard them.
And I saw myself, in the crowd.
The other myself.
Just dressed as I do now, gothic lolita.

The rest of the dream is only...
Playing live, feeling a complicity with all of the guys,
beign part of this "secret" we don't know about, the band
the "after the concert life", sitting down with Mana Sama, Közi-san,
Yu~ki, Seth and Hayato and just...
having the best time of my life.
I remember their voices and I still shake.

Just because I belive this dream is part of the girls
"let go" about my Mana Sama mumbling, and because Florence
told me I should be more into "being Mana-ish" in everyday life
I will share some of my favorite pictures of Mana Sama...
He obviously is either beautiful, handsome or cute on all of the pictures
but these ones are just... More than that.

Comments

[Sybil]

What a beautiful dream...
I would have cried a lot ...
I dreamed of Mana-sama one day and I was feeling so nostalgic when I woke up.
Mana-sama was wearing his Bara No Seidou costume and he was a falling angel. He hugged me and told me:"En espérant se revoir" like in Saikai No Chi To Bara...
I got sick for 3 days after that dream because I was crying so much that my head was going to explode.

It makes me want to cry to know that there are people who loves him this much and that they never even saw him.

I guess that's another way of interpreting the Dix Love, right?

Sorry for the endless text O__O